Berry's or Berries
by Live2HaveFun
Summary: Glee Club is not at all how everyone see's it.To Sam it's just damn confusing,and Weird.And Rachel she's a walking drama magnet.Mentions  Samchel,Finchel,Puckleberry,Cherry,Pezberry,Britberry,St.Berry,Raine, Rachel and Kurt, Artie and Rachel. ONESHOT


**Berry's Or Berries**

Sam Evans. If you were to ask him how glee club was, he would say one word.

_Boring-_Not even close.

_Gay-_Nope.

_Fun?- Sure, why not._

_Entertaining?- _Maybe.

_Drama- _Occasionally.

_Confusing?- _YES! That's the right answer! Confusing is what Glee club is.

So much Drama is involved in that club, but that's what makes it confusing. When Sam first herd the history Between, Mr. Schuester and his hair, he just got confused. I mean is it curly? Permed? Styled? Curled? And the hair gel he uses?

And than Mike tried telling him what had happened between Mr. Schuester and Mrs. Schuester... That didn't go very well. Sam got so confused it wasn't even funny. And Rachel. That girl is a walking Drama, magnet!

So this is how it is. (In Sam's mind)

Rachel was hated. Than Finn liked her, but Finn was with Quinn. But Quinn was cheating on Finn with Puck. And Puck went out with Rachel. But Puck threw slushys at Rachel everyday. Than Rachel was with this other guy with curly hair. But it wasn't Mr. Schuester. Although she did have a crush on him, and cleaned his house. A house that had Mr. Schuester and Mrs. Schuester lived in? But before that Finn was going to break things off with Quinn. But Quinn was Preggo! But it wasn't Finn's! It was Pucks! Finn's best friend! Some how Finn found out (Hint Hint: Rachel) and he quit glee club. After that Finchel was born, Finn and Rachel equal Finchel? Finn wanted to be a rock star so he broke up with her, so he could go to Bread Stix's with Santana and Brittany and talk about gay sharks (Which are just dolphins!) That's where curly sue comes in, taking Rachel away from Finn. BUT! Finn decides to rekindle his relationship with Rachel, even circuling some dates on a freaky cat calender. Rachel tells Finn that she is seeing a guy from a different school, kinda of breaking Finn's heart.

And while all this is going on Puck and Quinn are kinda together. But Puck apparently doesn't dig fat chicks? And with Quinn being pregnant means her getting bigger. But, Lauren...? Sam doesn't know!

Some how Rachel ended up with a broken heart, and Finn was happy, cause he now had Rachel. And some how they lost regionals.

And don't even ask him about Puck's juvenile record.

So Glee clubs confusing!

And if he were to describe the Glee club's meeting he would say 'Weird'. Like last week for instance. He had been hanging out with Rachel a lot, because of Quinn breaking his heart. :(

* * *

><p>"Hey guys?" Sam greeted the glee club, sitting in the front row.<p>

"You've been hanging out with Rachel a lot." Puck says, with his hands behind his back.

"Yeah, I guess." Sam responded. "She let me borrow her 'Broadway hit's' because apparently I have no taste in music."

"Yep this is getting serious!" Kurt says.

Sam looks around the choir room, looking for the stylish boy.

"Speaker phone." Mercedes says nodding her head. Sam just shrugs it off and waits for Mr. Schuester.

"We should just call him Strawberry, already." Kurt says through the phone.

"What?" Sam asks, with a confused face.

"Oh yes! We haven't told you on our little secret!" Kurt giggled. Giggled!

"What secret?"

"Okay we have these names we call Rachel's _Ex's _or anything to do with Rachel!_"_ Kurt says, shushing at the end.

"Names?"

"Yeah!" Finn says smiling. "I'm strawberry!" he says.

"No you're not!" Puck hits Finn in the arm.

"Oh yeah, I'm blackberry." he shrugs his shoulders.

"Black berry what kind of name is that?" Sam asks, looking at the other students who are just smiling.

"You see when Rachel, 'hook's up'" Santana uses finger quotes. "That one person get's a name, or a berry name." Santana says filling her nails. Brittany sits next to Santana, who have recently became a couple.

"And Finn is blackberry," Tina motions to Finn. "The person get's to pick the name. But it has to be a berry, and have 'berry' in it" she finishes.

"Yup." Puck sits up straight. "I'm Huckleberry, cause it sounds like Puckleberry." Puck nods.

"Raspberry YO!" Artie raises his hands.

"Boysenberry" Kurt yells out.

"Cranberry!" another voice yells out.

"Who was that?" Sam looks around the room.

"Oh that's just Blaine," Kurt says.

"So Why do you guys have names if you're both, uh, gay?" Sam asks talking into the phone awkwardly.

"You see, Mercedes had a crush on me-

"It was a year ago!" Mercedes shrugs.

"Anyway," Kurt continues, "I had told Mercedes, that I liked someone else. Long story short, I pointed to Finn, who bended down, and Rachel stood up," Kurt said with a cheery tone. Sam just stares at the phone. While Finn, itches his head awkwardly.

"And, well I went on a date with her, and kissed her twice." Blaine says in casual voice.

"Okay?" Sam is still trying to process this. Sam turns to Artie, who's smiling too.

"You?"

"I had a crush on her, nothing big. Did get a kiss on the cheek, once I helped her on the run joey run project." Artie nods, pointing his lips out.

"Cherry," Mike smiles nodding.

"But cherry doesn't have 'berry' in it?"

"No but when you mash our last names together it makes Cherry. Cool huh?" Mike says smiling still. Sam looks over to Tina who's rolling her eyes, and smiling?

"Tina? Uh wouldn't you be mad?" Sam tries to get the right words out.

"Nope, actually it's a good thing if your boyfriend ever kissed Rachel, had a crush on Rachel, or dated her."

"Why?" Sam just gets more and more weird-ed out.

"Because if they didn't than they're probably gay." Tina says. Sam is so confused because, Kurt and Blaine..? He's confused alright.

"Uh, okay." he turns not knowing what to do. He get's ready to sit down but Santana and Brittany yell out names too.

"Pink berry!" Brittany says, crisscrossed on the chair.

"Choke berry." Santana says with a bored tone.

"I got a kiss on the cheek! And I got to touch her butt in the 'Time Warp' performance!" Brittany says. "Even my cat likes Rachel." she adds. "I wanted a unique name so I picked Pink berry because grapes are berries right? And they're purple. So why can't there be pink ones" Brittany says in her clueless voice.

"Yeah okay." Santana says, stopping to talk. "I was depressed cause Britt, wouldn't break up with Artie, so I kind of hung out with Man hands." she sits back, but gets back up. "No offense, wheels." she adds.

"Hey what was Jesse's?" Mercedes, asks, not really asking anyone.

"Oh yeah! What was his?" Kurt says. The club thinks about Jesse and Rachel.

"That's what his name is, Jesse!" Sam thinks, ducking his head.

"Poke berry!" Brittany yells out much to loud, hurting Santana's ears.

"Ouch Britt!" Santana disconnects their hands and rubs her ears, thinking it would help.

"Yep, that was his name, Poke berry." Puck says, shaking his head. Mercedes and Tina laugh, covering their mouth with their hands.

"What's so funny?" Sam asks.

"Poke berry is a berry that's poisonous," Finn says, Quinn pulls him back to talking about Prom.

"You guys are so weird." Sam says sitting back down. "And confusing." he adds.

"And you're strawberry now." Tina pipes in.

"Strawberry?" Sam turns around in his seat.

"Yup. You're with Rachel now." Someone says.

"Or you can be called Evanberry?" Puck cuts in.

"But why does it have to be strawberry?"

"Because that's Rachel favorite berry!"

"Hello Glee club members!" Rachel says, walking in the choir room. "What did I miss?"

Everyone shakes their heads.

"Nothing." they all respond.

"I'll see you at the Lima Bean later." Kurt whispers, and the phone goes dead. Mercedes shuts her phone.

Rachel sits next to Sam, smiling at him.

"Yup this Club's messed up!" Sam thinks.


End file.
